Amnesia
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: Elliot develops amnesia resulting from injuries that he sustained while... he eoesn't remember how he got injured and the person closest to him doesn't want him to know. What happened that night? Who is this woman? And why won't she tell him anything?
1. Chapter 1: Who and What

**Amnesia**

**Chapter 1: Who and What**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A/N: Yes another new story! I'd like to dedicate this one to onetreefan for asking me to update "Spellbound" because like the sporadic writer that I am, I created this LOL. So onetreefan, I owe you one chapter of "Spellbound" and a huge apology for not being able to stay on task. Also I go away for vacation on Monday, so don't expect an update on this or any of my other stories for a while. Aren't I evil?**

The first thing he was aware of was the bright flashing red and blue lights. Where was he? A woman sat beside him. He saw tears in her eyes. When she saw that he was awake the tears began to fall. He studied her face and wondered who she was. She was obviously worried about him. Was she his wife?

He was being loaded into the back of an ambulance. The unknown woman remained by his side the whole time. He wished he knew who she was. She held his hand and whispered to him "It's gonna be okay Elliot," Was that his name? He wasn't sure. He wished he could remember. "Just hold on," she was pleading with him.

He still had no idea who she was but she looked so sad. He could see the deep compassion and concern in her brown eyes. He squeezed her hand and flashed a tiny smile to reassure her. The action succeeded in drawing out her own slight smile as the tears continued to fall.

He suddenly became aware of just how much pain he was in. Ribs, chest and head all ached. He closed his eyes tight. That simple action drew yet another plea from the mystery woman's lips "Elliot, honey, please open your eyes, please look at me?"

She sounded so scared. He forced his eyes open, concentrating on the woman who sat beside him. He squeezed her hand once more. He wished he could remember the name that belonged to that angelic face. He wished he had a clue as to what was going on around him.

The ambulance arrived at the hospital and the doors opened up. The harsh florescent lights forced him to close his eyes as he was wheeled through the halls. The stretcher left the mystery woman behind and he felt suddenly alone. There had been something comforting about her face, something soothing about the sound of her voice.

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Doctors had explained his condition to him. Most of what they had said hadn't really registered with him. Only one word stood out in his mind, amnesia. When the doctor had finished explaining everything to him, he asked if there was a woman waiting to see him. He wished he could ask for her by name.

The doctor left the room to check and he was left alone with his thoughts. He closed his eyes and felt the pain killers that they had given him begin to cloud his mind. He tried to fight the sleep that crept over him in a slow wave of peace,

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He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep when he began to come back into wakefulness. He blinked once, twice, his eyes attempted to focus for a few seconds and there she was. She looked as though she had been crying and hadn't slept in days. He wondered just how long he'd been in the hospital at this point. He was missing enormous chunks of his life and he hated that feeling. He wished he could remember her name.

"Hey," she smiled softly when she noticed that he was awake. She took the hand that he readily offered to her and held it in both of hers.

"Hey," he returned her smile timidly. His voice was raspy and full of exhaustion and he wondered if he always sounded that way.

"How are you feeling?" she asked gently.

He could tell by the way that she spoke that she didn't want to push him. He wondered if she was afraid of him. He didn't want her to be afraid of him. He wanted to know her name but he felt stupid for having to ask her. He was frustrated that he didn't know anything about this woman, yet he knew that he trusted her "I've been better," he began with a groan "At least," he added somewhat ruefully "I think I have."

She frowned "So you don't remember any of it then?" she questioned.

He nodded "I didn't even remember my own name until…" he trailed off 'Until I heard you calling to me," he finished silently in his mind.

She leaned closer to him and ran a hand down his cheek "I'm glad you're all right," she whispered before rising from her chair.

"Wait, where are you going?" he called out to her. Somehow he just couldn't let her leave. Nothing in his life made sense, nothing except her "Please don't leave?"

She faltered momentarily but didn't turn around "I think…" she began shakily "It isn't right for me to be here if…" she trailed off again. He could tell she was fighting against powerful conflicting emotions. She finally spoke again "I have to go."

"Please stay?" his voice held a note of urgency, desperation and something close to fear. He couldn't let her walk away not when he didn't even know her name. God damn it, why couldn't he remember her name?

She walked back to beside his bed and he grasped her hand almost too tightly at first. She sat beside him, keeping a distance that seemed self imposed. He was almost sure that she wanted to be closer to him at that moment then she was allowing herself to be.

"Thank you," he whispered as he rubbed his thumb over her palm in slow circles.

She was silent for a long time. Finally she spoke, choosing a trivial topic to end the silence "Are you hungry? Should I get the nurse to bring your dinner?"

"I'm not hungry," he answered her question. Somehow he thought at the back of his mind that the food was an avoidance tactic that he shouldn't let her get away with.

"You should probably have something to drink," she said hurriedly, attempting to rise from her chair once more.

"I'm not thirsty," he told her, although he released her hand. He didn't want to force her to stay if she really didn't want to. He watched her turn slightly in the direction of the door "I wish I remembered," he whispered remorsefully.

She turned to face him again. She took a step towards him. She bent down so that her face was near his "I know," she whispered and he could see the moisture gathering in her eyes.

He reached his hand up and caressed her cheek "I wish I remembered you," he whispered as his own tears began to well up.

"No," her voice was choked back by a sob that she wouldn't allow to escape "Its better that you don't," she turned and fled.

He closed his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. Without her beside him, he would rather be lost in unconsciousness. As he drifted off, he hoped he would see her again. He just wished he knew her name.

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"Elliot, call for backup!"

"Shut up you stupid bitch."

"Get away from her!"

"Please no."

"Don't you fucking touch her."

"I'll do what ever I want."

"No don't."

"I hope this bitch was worth dying for."

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He woke up breathing heavy. It was still dark outside but he didn't think he would be able to get back to sleep. A nurse came in to check his vital signs and finished quickly with barely two words spoken between them. Once she had left, his thoughts had no choice but to return to the dream. It had only been the words; he couldn't be sure who was speaking. Perhaps that woman was right, maybe he didn't want to know. Dear God, what had happened to him?

He silently watched as the sun came up. Now he wished more than ever that that woman would come back to visit. He needed answers. He didn't know why but something inside him told him that she could give them to him.

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"Good morning Mr. Stabler," a smiling nurse carried a tray of food in for him.

He nodded his thanks and the nurse left. He wasn't in the mood for pleasant, meaningless banter. He pushed the unappealing hospital eggs around his plate before ignoring them completely. He picked up the tiny cup of coffee and took a sip. He didn't even know if he liked coffee and after tasting the hospital coffee he doubted it.

The sound of someone softly clearing their throat caused him to look up. He saw her, leaning against the door frame, smiling sheepishly and holding a paper bag in one hand. He smiled when he saw her.

"Can I come in?" she asked nervously.

"Please," he waved her to the seat that she had occupied yesterday.

She entered cautiously, involuntarily grimacing at the hospital breakfast. She opened up the paper bag "Thought you might want some salvation," she gave a quick glance in his direction before turning her gaze to the hospital issue sheets that covered the bed. She handed him a large cup of Starbuck's coffee that she had concealed in the bag and a banana nut muffin.

He smiled politely, unsure that he would like these things but this woman seemed to know him pretty well and he trusted her. He only wished he knew her name "Thanks," he placed a hand on her forearm. She sat with him while he ate the breakfast that she had smuggled in for him. When he had finished he took one of her hands in his "It's good to see you again," he told her as he looked deep into her eyes.

She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze "I'm glad," she murmured.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered far too quickly.

He knew she was lying. He couldn't explain how he knew. He seemed to know the strangest things about this woman but it infuriated him that he couldn't remember her name "Can you help me?" he asked suddenly.

She seemed taken aback "Help how?" she responded to his question with one of her own.

"I can't remember anything," he told her "Its… frightening," he let himself be vulnerable in front of her because he trusted her. He may not have been able to recall her name but he knew that he trusted this woman fully and completely.

"I'm sorry, Elliot," she touched his cheek gently "Your memory should come back on its own. Please don't try to rush it."

"_Please no."_

"Oh my God," he whispered after the flashback had faded.

"What's wrong," she was quick to ask. She had her hand on the call button "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," he quickly reassured her, covering her hand with his. The truth was, he wasn't sure but he did his best to hide that from her.

She relaxed slightly in her seat before rising "Umm… I should probably get going," she looked at her wrist watch "I'm gonna be late to work."

"Okay," he said hesitantly "Thanks again for breakfast."

"No problem," she answered in a voice that seemed tinged with guilt "It's the least I could do."

"Will you come by this afternoon?" he asked her before she could disappear out the door.

She stopped in her tracks, without turning around she replied "I'll try," and she left.

He listened to her footsteps fade down the hall and sighed. He wished he knew her name but she hadn't offered that information and he wouldn't ask for it. It had taken all he had to ask for help in general. He was being held back by stubborn pride that, although he couldn't remember much else, he remembered very well. She knew him so well. The breakfast she had brought him had been absolutely perfect. If nothing else he now knew that he liked banana nut muffins.

The doctor entered the room, interrupting his revelry "How are you feeling this morning Mr. Stabler?" he asked.

"Pretty good," he answered "When do I get out of here?"

The doctor looked at his notes before answering "Well, your injuries are heeling nicely. The only problem is the amnesia but since the best treatment for that is being in familiar surroundings let's say… tomorrow or the day after."

"Thanks doc," after a bit more conversation and explanation the doctor left the room. Elliot leaned back against his pillow. He hoped that familiar surrounding would indeed make his amnesia go away.

"_I hope this bitch was worth dying for."_

The words that entered his mind sent a cold chill through his body. What had happened? He couldn't wait to get out of the hospital and find some answers.

**TBC**

**I know I've been cranking out the new stories lately but this idea just came to me and I've never written a mystery before. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2: Another Piece of the Puzzle

**Amnesia **

**Chapter 2: Another Piece of the Puzzle**

As the afternoon ticked by he waited for her. He wanted to see her again. She was the only connection to his forgotten past. Meetings with his doctor did nothing to make the time go any faster. It was confirmed that he would indeed be released in the morning. He felt a sense of anticipation about this and his excitement only made the time drag on slower.

It was 7:00pm and he was beginning to think that maybe she wouldn't show. His body was weakened from injury and he was exhausted. He had been sitting upright all day and he decided to take a little nap. He lay back on the bed and let his eyes drift shut.

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"Run damn it."

"You're kidding, right."

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"I'm not leaving you alone with them."

"Damn it Olivia, I said run!"

"No… Oh my God..."

"Olivia!"

"Elliot, call for backup!"

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His heart rate was racing when his eyes popped open "Dear, God," he whispered hoarsely. He looked around his room, at first not believing that he was there. What the hell had happened? His eyes drifted to the doorway. There she stood looking small and timid. Something told him that this was unnatural for her. He rose to his feet and made his way towards her. He engulfed her in his embrace, stroking her hair as he whispered "Olivia."

She pulled away and he swore he saw fear flash in her dark eyes "You remember?" she whispered, not at all sounding enthusiastic.

"Not really," he replied as he pulled her to the chair with him and he sat down, pulling her into his lap "I wish I did, more than anything."

"Shouldn't you be in bed," she tried to change the subject as she got off his lap.

"Doctor said it's better for me to be up and moving around. I'm getting out tomorrow," he smiled up at her.

She smiled faintly but a dark shadow crossed her face "That's great," she tried to sound happy.

"Do you think you could give me a ride home?" he asked, looking away in shame "I kind of don't remember where I live."

She took his face into her hands and made him look at her "Of course," she answered simply. She turned to head for the door but was stopped by his strong embrace.

"Please stay?" his soft plea whispered just beside her ear.

She pulled further away from him and with her eyes focused securely on the floor she answered "I'll be back in the morning to give you a ride home," and she was gone, leaving him standing in the room, totally confused.

He returned to his bed and flipped on the TV. The news was on.

"The search for three men accused of ambushing two NYPD detectives in Central Park last week continues tonight," the anchor woman was saying. On the screen was a picture of a section of Central Park that was heavily wooded "One detective remains hospitalized tonight…"

He became disinterested with the story and changed the channel. After finding nothing of interest to occupy his mind, he simply turned it off and sat there in the silence of the room.

"_Damn it Olivia, I said run!"_

"_No… Oh my God..."_

"_Olivia!"_

Something had happened, something bad. How had he gotten injured? And where did Olivia fit into all of this? He wished she hadn't left but she had said she would be back in the morning. He had to get up the nerve to ask her to answer questions about his life.

"_I hope this bitch was worth dying for."_

What had happened? The tone was insidious, evil. It was the last thing he remembered before waking up with Olivia beside him. He wished he remembered more than just words. Sights, sounds, smells, all alluded him. The voice was enough to tell him that something bad had happened and he was afraid not for himself but for Olivia. He knew that she had to have been with him when what ever happened, happened. He tried flipping through the channels again, knowing that there was no way he would get any sleep that night.

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She walked in the next morning and handed him a change of clothing. He dressed quickly and followed her out of the room.

Elliot's doctor pulled Olivia aside just outside the room "May I speak to you for a minute?" he asked.

She nodded and turned to Elliot "Give me a second," she said before following the doctor into a room off to the side.

Elliot was suspicious instantly. He followed quietly and listened at the door to the hushed conversation that was taking place.

"I don't see any problem with him returning to work tomorrow," the doctor told Olivia.

Olivia fidgeted with the band on her watch before answering "It could be too much for him," her eyes remained constantly trained on the floor.

"I believe it would help him recover his memory faster," the doctor told her.

"He's better off not remembering," she said quietly.

"With all do respect detective," the doctor took a step closer to her "What gives you the right to make that choice for him? We're not just talking about whatever guilt you may have here. He has no memory of his entire life. You should think long and hard about what you are doing to him," with that the doctor left the room, not noticing Elliot standing by the door.

Elliot moved away from the door as he tried to process the conversation that he had just overheard. He didn't notice Olivia come out of the room until she was standing right next to him.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

He simply nodded and followed her to the car. He was silent the entire drive. The conversation he had overheard troubled him. He felt… betrayed. Betrayed by the person who had been the one constant from the moment he had woken up. She was keeping secrets from him, making decisions for him that weren't hers to make.

They reached his house and Olivia took him inside, patiently explaining to him everything that he had forgotten about the layout of the place. When she had finished, the two sat silently on the sofa in his living room.

Elliot picked up a framed photograph on the end table. It was full of faces that seemed familiar to him but he couldn't think of who they were. He recognized himself standing next to a blond woman "Who are they?" he asked Olivia. The picture looked to him to be a family photo and yet Olivia wasn't anywhere in sight. How was it that Olivia was absent from the picture but the only one who had come to visit him when he had been in the hospital?

Olivia took the photo from Elliot's hands and placed it back on the end table. She took a deep breath "That's your family," she told him.

"Where are they now?" Elliot asked innocently.

Olivia took another shuddering breath before speaking again "Maureen and Kathleen," she pointed to the two older children in the picture "They're both in college," she paused; from what Elliot could see, she was composing herself "Kathy," she indicated the blonde woman that Elliot was standing next to "She… she umm… left two years ago and took Dickie and Elizabeth," she pointed to the two younger children "With her."

Elliot sighed heavily. He had had a family and they weren't around now. This should've been a lot harder for him to take in than it was. He didn't have any memories of being with his family so he had nothing to mourn the loss of. He turned to Olivia and said simply "Thanks for telling me."

She nodded. The two sat in silence for a long time before she spoke again "Do you want to order pizza?"

"Sure," he replied, anything to change the subject.

They ordered pizza and watched TV land until it grew dark outside. They laughed and chattered away as Olivia explained to him little bits and pieces about their friendship and the people they worked with. She conveniently however never mentioned what exactly they did. Elliot felt the happiest he had in days.

Around 10:00pm, Olivia began to drift off. Elliot carefully loosened the vice like grip that her fingers had on the TV remote and changed the channel to the news. He was met with the same news story that he had seen the previous night.

A reporter who stood in the relative darkness of Central Park began speaking "I was here, last week that three suspects, in a series of brutal murders, viciously attacked two of New York's finest."

The image on the screen changed to prerecorded footage. Every word of the story were drowned out by the beating of Elliot's heart when he saw the pictures of the two detectives. One was Olivia and the other was him.

He turned off the TV and woke Olivia up "What is going on here?" he demanded of the still groggy woman.

She rubbed her eyes and looked at him "Hmm?" she mumbled sleepily.

"What happened last week?" he got off the sofa and began pacing the room.

She shot up instantly and moved towards him, trying to calm him with a soothing tone "When last week?" she asked, trying to stall.

"Before I got hurt," he seethed "Last week in Central Park."

She froze "The park?" she asked trying to play dumb.

"Don't do that Olivia," he said angrily "I may not remember much but I know that you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"How…?" she began.

"I saw it on the news!" he shouted "We were chasing three guys and they got away!"

She put a hand on his shoulder "Calm down," she instructed gently "Every cop in the city is out looking for them. They'll be behind bars before you know it."

"That's not all," Elliot admitted "I've been having these… well they're kind of… I guess you'd call them nightmares."

"Nightmares?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

"Not like a normal nightmare," he said softly "I hear… voices… in my head… all jumbled up and running together."

Without warning Olivia had wrapped her arms around him and held him tight "I'm so sorry," she whispered through tears "I should have…"

He hugged her back "I want to remember," he stated simply. He wanted to remember but it seemed like his mind wouldn't let him. Not without a fight at least.

Olivia turned towards the door "I should probably get going," she dismissed herself quickly.

"Wait," Elliot reached out to her. He had been under the impression that the two of them lived together "Couldn't you stay just a little while longer?" he asked.

"I really should go," and before he could protest any further, she was gone.

Elliot sighed in defeat. He climbed the stairs of his lonely house and entered the lonely master bedroom. He slid into the empty bed, wishing that he had Olivia beside him.

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"Damn, they've seen us."

"Two against three, the odds could be worse."

"When was the last time you charged this phone?"

"I charged it this morning. Why?"

"The battery's dead."

"Just our luck."

"I'll distact them, you make a run for it."

"Excuse me?"

"Run damn it."

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The shrill ringing of a phone woke him from his uneasy slumber. He pawed aimlessly at the bedside table until his hand made contact with it. He lifted the receiver "Yeah," he said groggily.

For a few seconds there was nothing but the sound of heavy breathing and then a man's voice that made the blood in Elliot's veins run cold "I hope that bitch is worth dying for."

**TBC**

**A/N: So I wanted to get a second chapter up before I went away on vacation. I hope you all like it and I would really appreciate the feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3: Memories

**Amnesia **

**Chapter 3: Memories**

Elliot shot straight up in bed, his heart pounding in reaction to the voice although he didn't know why "Who is this?" he asked, attempting to remain calm.

His question was answered with more heavy breathing "I guess you are already dead, aren't you?" the man's voice was taunting, teasing… sadistic.

"What are you talking about," Elliot demanded as he fought to keep his breathing under control. Something about this man put Elliot on alert. He wished he could remember why.

"You sacrificed your memory for her," the man chuckled "That bitch obviously meant enough to you that you were willing to give up almost anything for her," the man paused "Without memories of the man you were before, you are essentially dead."

"Shut up!" Elliot was becoming increasingly frustrated with this man.

The man simply chuckled again "Well, Elliot," he began "Tell me, was she worth it?" when Elliot didn't respond right away the man simply laughed again "Of course you can't answer that. You don't remember anything about her and she isn't helping you to remember is she?"

Elliot felt his stomach do a summersault. What did this man know? Elliot forced himself to be calm. Maybe what the man had said had only been a coincidence. Still it left Elliot feeling more unsettled by the minute. He hadn't said anything for a while now.

The man spoke again "You're beginning to doubt her aren't you? You're wondering, memory or not, you still have the same suspicious nature. You don't know if you can trust her."

On this the man was wrong. Any doubts that had been bothering him about Olivia had been obliterated earlier that evening. Elliot opened his mouth to say something but the man spoke again.

"I hope you get your memories back someday," he spoke sincerely "But just not before I've finished my job."

Elliot heard the line click followed by the dial tone. He sat there holding the phone in his hand for several minutes. What had just happened? What was the job that the man had to finish that would be made more difficult if Elliot could remember? Were the man's final words meant as a warning?

He finally hung up the phone and got out of bed. He knew he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep that night. He made his way into the living room and sat on the couch where Olivia had been with him only hours before.

He picked up the remote and began to flip through the channels. The boring late night TV caused his eyes to drift closed even though he didn't want them to.

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"There he is," she whispered as she stood beside him. They had followed their perp to Central Park but had briefly lost him. Now they had finally spotted him again.

"Do you think he knows where the other two are?" Elliot asked in a tone whose volume was low as could be while still being able to be heard by his partner who stood only inches from him. He desperately wanted to get justice for the women that had been brutally tortured and murdered by these men. He knew without asking that Olivia did to. That was just the kind of person she was.

"He should," she pulled out her handcuffs and took a small cautious step through the undergrowth, trying not to make a sound that might alert the suspect to their presence in the park.

"Did you here that?" he was on high alert and had been ever since they had started trailing the suspect 'Stalking the stalker' Olivia had called it. Elliot knew that you had to be extremely careful if you were going to sneak up on a stalker. And off in the distance he heard a reason to be worried.

Olivia cocked her head and listened for a moment "Two more sets of footsteps," she confirmed his fears.

"They're all here," he muttered in disbelief "Damn it," the curse was barely more than a breath in his ears as he stepped closer to his partner, taking his customary protective stance.

"Where's the radio?" she asked, trying to keep the nervous shake out of her voice. They needed to call for backup.

"Shit," Elliot hissed as he felt his pockets.

"What's wrong?" she asked. She hoped he wasn't hurt. She grabbed his arm turning him towards her in the near pitch black of the park, silently preying that he was okay.

"I left it in the sedan," he cursed himself for his stupidity. He had made a mistake that not even a rookie would have made "God damn it," he wanted to smack himself across the face but the resulting noise would alert the three men in the park instantly to their presence "How the hell did I screw up like that?"

"Never mind, here's my cell phone," she pulled it from her pocket and handed it to him. As long as they could contact someone, anyone, there was hope.

Elliot hit a button by accident on the phone and it beeped. The beep was quiet and would have gone unnoticed by the normal human being but these men were on edge; they new they were being chased "Damn, they've seen us," Elliot cursed again when three flashlight beams converged just a few feet from their location. He instinctively moved in front of Olivia, hoping that they didn't see her.

"Two against three," she let out a nervous attempt at a laugh that sounded sarcastic, bitter and frightened all in the same breath "The odds could be worse."

"When was the last time you charged this phone?" Elliot asked in frustration as he frantically tried to get the phone to work. His attempts were unsuccessful however and the screen went dark.

"I charged it this morning," she answered, confused as to what he was getting at "Why?"

"The battery's dead," he informed her, unhappily.

"Just our luck," that same sarcastic and yet fear tinged tone resurfaced.

"I'll distract them," he suggested as his mind formulated a plan "You make a run for it."

"Excuse me?" as afraid as she might be and she knew he was too, she was firm in her resolve not to abandon her partner. There were three perps and if she stayed with Elliot, he stood a better chance.

"Run damn it," he turned so that his face was mere centimeters from hers. Their noses were almost touching as he stared her down.

"You're kidding, right," the stubbornness of Olivia Benson made itself known as she met her partner's hard gaze with one of her own. The message she was trying to send 'I'm not budging.'

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" he asked as he continued to stare firmly into her brown eyes.

"I'm not leaving you alone with them," she said with absolute conviction in her voice and a fire in her eyes that dared him to challenge her on this.

"Damn it Olivia, I said run!" he shouted, forgetting that too loud a noise could be dangerous in this situation.

"No," she spat back and was about to say something else when a hand wrapped around her throat and pulled her backwards. Completely stunned and paralyzed with fear all she could manage was a tiny and surprised "Oh my God."

"Olivia!" he shouted, pulling his gun instantly but he didn't have a clear shot. All three men surrounded her now. They eyed her hungrily and their hands ran up and down her body, exploring, caressing places that they didn't have the right to. The sight of this made Elliot's hands shake with pure fury, making it even more unlikely that he would have a clear shot.

"Elliot, call for backup!" she called out to him. It was a bluff, simply to throw the three men off their game but it didn't work.

"Shut up you stupid bitch," one man backhanded her while the other two began to fumble with her clothing.

"Get away from her!" Elliot screamed. He wanted to kill all three of those men with his bare hands. He took a step closer to the group of men.

One of the men leaned close to Olivia and whispered something in her ear. Her eyes grew wide with terror "Please no."

"Don't you fucking touch her," Elliot seethed in a low voice as he moved even closer to the group. He pulled one of the men off Olivia and threw him to the ground. He got in a few good kicks to the man's ribs before he felt himself thrown forcefully into a tree. He promptly slumped to the ground and that's when they pounced.

"I'll do what ever I want," the man who Elliot had thrown to the ground growled as he kicked Elliot repeatedly. The other two men came over to assist their friend and they brought Olivia with them.

"No don't," she begged for her partner's life as she struggled against the men who held her captive. She wasn't able to fight them off and instead was forced to watch in horror as they beat Elliot half to death.

The first man forced Olivia down on top of Elliot so they were staring face to face, his pained eyes meeting her terrified ones. The man picked up his flashlight from where it lay on the ground and drew it back, preparing to strike the final blow "I hope this bitch was worth dying for."

After that the darkness closed in on Elliot. He fought against it but it closed in on him anyway. 'Olivia!' his mind screamed. He couldn't leave her alone with those psychos. But he was left with no choice.

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Elliot sprang from the couch, breathing erratically "Dear God," he said aloud as he ran to his room and dressed. He grabbed his car keys from the kitchen table and was out the door in a flash. He felt the overwhelming urge to be there. He knew she shouldn't be alone, not now.

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He pressed the buzzer to the apartment and waited for a response. He shifted from foot to foot for several minutes before pushing the buzzer again. A groggy and somewhat irritated voice finally answered "Who is it?"

"Liv its me," he responded, softly "Can I come up?"

"Elliot," she was surprised but not disappointed "Sure."

He walked up the stairs and paused at the door. She had already opened it for him. He entered and found her sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. He sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her. She neither leaned into his embrace nor attempted to pull away from it. He stroked her hair "Hi," he whispered as his eyes began to mist over.

She couldn't help the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth "Hi," she responded and then added in a much softer voice as she attempted to turn away "You remember?"

"Everything," he responded "I'm so sorry," a single tear escaped his eye as he tightened his embrace.

She sniffled softly "It was my fault," she told him as she finally made the effort to pull away from him. She stood and walked to the window.

Elliot stood up and followed her, keeping his distance purely because he wasn't worthy to touch her. When he had seen her sitting on the couch he had just been so happy to see her and to know who she was that there had been no other thought in his mind than to hold her. The truth of the matter was that he didn't deserve to hold her, didn't deserve to be in her presence, not after he had failed her so badly.

The woman who secretly loved romantic comedies and drank orange juice with every meal was to good for him. He couldn't believe that she would blame herself for something that was so completely and utterly his fault. He took another tentative step closer to her "Please don't do this," he begged.

She turned to face him "Do what?" she asked as if she had no idea.

"Please don't say it's your fault," he began "Please don't try and make me feel better. It was my fault and we both no it."

"Elliot," she began, moving towards him to which he took a step back. She attempted to explain to him the way she had rationalized it in her own mind "We were chasing one suspect. There was no way you could have known the other two would be there. We wouldn't have needed backup to take down just the one."

"I screwed up," he turned away but she grabbed him and forced him to meet her gaze.

"This wasn't your fault," she repeated firmly.

He looked into her compassionate eyes and had to turn away to hide his tears. He remembered everything but he had no idea what had happened to her after he lost consciousness and that was what scared him the most. Part of him needed to know, wanted to help her yet he was afraid to ask. He took a deep breath, formulated the sentence in his mind before speaking, still the words sounded so small, timid, fearful "What… happened… afterwards?"

**TBC**

**A/N: Some questions answered and more raised. Please review and I'll try and get the next chapter up soon.**


	4. Chapter 4: Secrets and Surprises

**Amnesia **

**Chapter 4: Secrets and Surprises **

She ran her hand through her hair, debating what sort of answer she would feed him. She would be damned if she was going to tell him the truth about this. But he wouldn't by just any lie. It had to be a well crafted lie and she hadn't had enough time to make one up. She took a deep breath and did the best she could "After you lost consciousness, they um… heard sirens in the distance and ran off."

"Bull," the word left his lips before he could even think to stop himself.

"Excuse me," she took a defensive stance, preparing for the inevitable showdown. The air between the two became charged with the tension and the anger and every suppressed emotion that they had been holding in "If you have something you want to say to me, I'm listening."

"We didn't call for backup Olivia!" his voice grew in volume as he stated the obvious fact that they both new. He took a step closer to her, his fists clenched, his fingernails digging so deep into his palms that it was causing him pain "We didn't even need to check in with Cragen for another thirty minutes! No one was there that quick!"

"What do you want from me Elliot!" she yelled, turning away from him and moving into the kitchen. She spun around on her heels and gave him an angry glare "Draw your own damn conclusions! You're good at that!"

"I want the truth Olivia!" He shouted, his voice dripping with fury "I want the God damn truth! Don't you think I deserve that much!"

"Maybe you don't want to know the truth!" she spat back "Maybe your better off not knowing what happened!"

"It's my life!" he screamed.

"You're asking about what happened to me and telling me that its your life!" she was incredibly pissed off now.

"You're my partner damn it!" he told her as if she didn't know that fact already "I have a hole in my memory and you are the only one who can fill it in for me!" he stopped. There were three other people who could but he wanted nothing to do with them.

Olivia stared him down with such heat and anger that it was a miracle that Elliot didn't burn up into a pile of ashes "What do you need to know Elliot! You were unconscious and then you woke up! You had amnesia and now you don't! Mystery solved!" she turned away from him "I think you should go home," she said softly.

He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him but let go instantly when he felt her flinch and saw the extreme fear that flashed in her eyes. This only served to confirm his fears yet his voice continued at its full volume "I'm not going until I know what happened!" he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself before speaking again but it didn't work "One of them called me tonight Olivia!"

This frightened her and she took a step backwards "Which one?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," his voice finally returned to normal "It was the taller one I think, one of the ones that we were going to have Erickson ID for us once we had him in custody."

The fear flashed intensely in her eyes before she moved to sit on the sofa once more "What did he say?" she asked in a whisper.

Elliot sat beside her but didn't make a move to wrap his arms around her; he didn't want to frighten her again "He said," Elliot found himself choking on his words "He said that he hoped I got my memory back but not before he finished his job," he subconsciously wrapped his arms protectively around her before he knew what he was doing.

She didn't pull away or give any indication that she was frightened by his touch. She leaned further into his embrace, wanting to hide from the reality that seemed to haunt her every moment "Will you accept that I don't want to talk about it right now?" she asked, knowing that she'd tell him the story before the night was through.

"Please tell me so I can help you," he stroked her hair soothingly "I want to help you."

She took a deep breath as she allowed the memories to wash over her. Somehow being in the safety of Elliot's embrace gave her the strength to tell him.

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She saw Elliot's body go limp. She knew he was unconscious. Her heart began to race. He needed to get to a hospital but no one would even be looking for them for at least another half hour. Her blood ran cold when she saw the taller man pick Elliot's gun up off the ground. Another of the men had her gun in his hands. Both guns were pointed at Elliot "Please," she begged as the third man held her tight.

"What will you do to save him?" the taller man, who was obviously the ring leader, asked malevolently.

"What do you want?" she asked. The bile rose in her throat when she thought of what these men were capable of doing.

The tall man motioned for the man who was holding her to release her. All three men stood around her in an uneven triangle with the tall man and the man who held her gun still pointing the guns at Elliot. The tall man spoke one word to her in a demanding tone "Strip."

Her hands shook as she lifted the hem of her shirt. If there had only been one man with a gun pointed at Elliot, she probably could have tackled him although she would most likely never risk it. With two guns pointed in Elliot's direction she had no choice in the matter but to do what they said. She cast her shirt to the ground and threw off her bra, the whole time staring at the ground, feeling nothing but shame that this was the only thing she could do to help Elliot. Her pants pooled around her ankles, she didn't want to do this. She strained to hear even the faintest siren but there was nothing but the chirping of crickets.

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Her lips hadn't even begun to move yet. The memory was too painful even with Elliot right there beside her. There was no way that she could tell him that she had done it for him. The tears began to fall even though she fought them with all she had. She buried her face in Elliot's chest and remained silent.

"Oh Olivia," Elliot whispered as he held on to her for dear life. There was no doubt in his mind that something terrible had happened. His own tears fell "I won't let them touch you again," he promised "I'm so sorry."

She didn't respond. She tried to get as close to Elliot as she possibly could. She knew that he couldn't promise that and even if he could, it would be dangerous for him. She couldn't let him have anything to do with her but some how she kept coming back to him. She couldn't let him get hurt because of her, not again. She wanted to pull away from him, tell him to leave and never come back but she also wanted to enjoy the moment, enjoy feeling safe in his arms because she knew that nowhere else would she ever feel safe again.

Elliot held her in silence for a long time. Just holding her, being with her, trying to make up for everything he had done wrong in this simple gesture. He continued to whisper softly to her "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

The peaceful moment was broken by the ringing of Olivia's phone. She pulled away from Elliot's embrace reluctantly and sniffled, trying to get control over her voice before flipping the phone open "Benson," she answered clearly.

Elliot was sitting so close to her on the couch that he was sble to hear the voice on the other end. He recognized it instantly and instinctively his arms wrapped around Olivia again. He would do anything to protect her from this vindictive bastard.

"Hello beautiful," he spoke with a voice that practically oozed vindictiveness "Did you miss me?"

Her voice shook when she began speaking and she tried frantically to regain control as she felt Elliot tighten his grip on her "Leave me alone."

"We both know you don't mean that," she could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke "I'm thinking of you."

She started to shake slightly "What the hell do you want?"

"To be with you again," he answered "To hold you, touch you, to have more than five minutes in the park with you."

"Go to hell," she hissed.

"See you there," his tone was one of amusement.

Elliot whispered reassuringly in her ear "It's gonna be okay," he wanted her to hang up on the bastard but maybe the idiot would give up his location. All Elliot could do was hold Olivia, try and make her feel safe and hope that they could get this bastard soon.

Elliot's whisper did not go unnoticed by the man on the other end of the phone "I see," he mused aloud "We aren't alone are we darling?"

"No we are not!" Elliot answered angrily. He had had enough of this asshole "You leave her alone or I'll-" he was cut off by the man's laughter.

"You'll what?" the man seemed overcome by his laughter "You'll get the crap kicked out of you again while I take what I want from her."

"Leave us alone!" Olivia screamed before she hung up the phone. She wrapped Elliot in just as tight an embrace as he had her in "That bastard," she muttered.

"I should call Cragen," Elliot made an attempt to pull away. "We should see if we can find out where that call came from."

"No," Olivia pulled him back to her again "I'll call him. Just… stay here tonight?"

Elliot nodded "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

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"Don't worry about that," he told her when he saw her start to take the cushions off the couch so that she could pull out the sofa bed "Its better for my back if I sleep on it while its folded up."

She dropped the cushion back into place and looked at him sheepishly "Actually I… was gonna take the couch bed," she told him "I thought you'd want to sleep in my bed."

Elliot took a step closer to her "I'm not going to kick you out of your bed Olivia," he was firm in his resolve.

"Are you sure you'll be fine out here?" she asked, reluctant to make him sleep on her couch.

He smiled reassuringly at her "I'll be fine."

She nodded and turned towards her bedroom "Good night," she called softly over her shoulder.

"Good night," he called back in the same soft tone as he sat down on the couch. He knew he wouldn't sleep that night.

As Olivia closed the door to her bedroom she sighed heavily. Elliot was spending the night in her apartment, she should feel safe the way she always did when he spent the night but she didn't. She climbed under her covers and lay for a long time, just staring at the ceiling. Eventually exhaustion caught up to her and her eyelids became heavier until finally they closed and she drifted off into a world of nightmares.

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"One of the more attractive ones I've had the pleasure of fucking in a while," he kissed her before standing up. Erickson turned to the taller man "Your turn."

The tall man handed his gun to Erickson and startled Olivia where she lay on the ground. He smiled as he ran a hand over her breasts "You are something else," he smiled.

Sirens blared in the distance and the other two men became spooked "Dude we gotta get out of here," Erickson shouted to the tall man as he and the other man dropped the guns they were holding and ran. It wasn't long before they had disappeared into the darkness.

"Pussies!" the tall one screamed after them as he shoved Olivia hard into the ground.

Olivia saw her chance. It was one on one and no one was aiming a gun at Elliot, so she did what she had wanted to do ever since she had been given the command to strip. She fought back. She managed to land one good punch to his face but he soon pinned her down again. He was much stronger than she was.

"Stupid bitch," he muttered as he rolled her onto her stomach and shoved her face into the dirt. He heard footsteps in the distance "Looks like I'll have to finish my business quick," he told her.

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She writhed in her bed until the sheets became hopelessly tangled around her. She screamed in the hope that the patrol men who had come to the park to find her and Elliot would find her in time. She wasn't aware yet that she had been delivered from that hell days ago.

Elliot heard her screams from the living room where he sat, listening intently to what had up until that point been the peaceful sounds of Olivia's apartment; the hum of the refrigerator, the drip of the kitchen sink, the periodic hum of the heater which would sometimes click off when the room had reached the appropriate temperature. All of this was shattered by Olivia's screams.

He ran into the room with his gun drawn and saw her on the bed, tossing and turning but thankfully she was the only person in the room. He had been so afraid that someone might have climbed in the window during the night but thankfully his fear was unfounded. He ran to the bed and knelt beside it. He was careful not to touch her as he called her name, trying to pull her from her slumber without frightening her further "Olivia. Olivia, honey its Elliot. Come on baby open those beautiful eyes of yours. It's okay."

Gradually she became aware of the fact that she was in her own bed as Elliot's gentle tone guided her back into consciousness. She rolled over and stared at him, her eyes still holding the last traces of fear that the nightmare had caused "Elliot," she whispered hoarsely.

"It's okay," he reassured her as he stood up "It was just a nightmare."

Olivia sighed. If only it had been just a nightmare that night in the park. She stood up and took Elliot's hand "I don't think I'm going to sleep at all the rest of the night. You want some coffee?"

"Should I make it?" He asked.

"Nah, I got it," she offered a small smile as she went into the kitchen and started a pot. Keeping busy was a good way to distract her mind from the nightmare.

A few minutes later she came into the living room to see Elliot sitting on the couch, waiting for her. She set the two mugs of coffee on the coffee table and flashed him a grin before disappearing back into the kitchen and appearing a few seconds later with a paper plate piled high with cookies. She set the plate between the two mugs and sank down on the couch beside Elliot. She automatically leaned her head into his shoulder and he responded by wrapping his arm around her. She sighed contentedly and tried to forget the events of the past week.

Elliot took a sip of his coffee and smiled that it was exactly the way he liked it "I remembered something else," he said with a tiny grin at Olivia. He didn't know if this was an appropriate time to bring it up but he thought she could use the distraction.

"Yeah?" she asked, trying to lose herself in the moment with him and to forget the nightmare, try to forget that their lives could be in danger.

"Our three month anniversary is tomorrow," he gave her a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. He wished that they could do something special for the occasion but considering the phone calls that he and Olivia had gotten that night, he thought that going out might be dangerous for either one of them.

Olivia turned her head at that moment "Three months," she couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips. It had been an amazing three months even though the last week had been hell. She couldn't help wondering that they hadn't been able to keep their personal feelings separate from the job and that's why they were in this mess.

Elliot decided to change the subject. He looked at the plate of cookies which was still covered in plastic wrap "Did Suzy and Linda make those?" he asked.

Olivia nodded. Suzy and Linda were her next door neighbor's daughters. They lived with their mother and grandmother and every Saturday they baked cookies and all sorts of goodies with their grandmother. They always brought Olivia a big plate with a little bit of everything they had made.

Suzy was eleven years old and Olivia had taught her to roller skate. Suzy's mom had been at work and her grandmother was too old to be roller skating so Olivia gladly stepped in. Linda was four and as precocious as they come. Anytime she would see Olivia in the hall, she would run up to her and give her a giant hug. Olivia loved both the girls and was more than happy to lend a helping hand whenever she could.

"They're good kids," Olivia smiled to herself.

Elliot reached for his mug where he had left it on the coffee table but grabbed Olivia's by mistake. He didn't notice that it wasn't his until he had taken a sip. The taste surprised him "Liv," he began inquisitively "Why are you drinking hot chocolate?"

She paused, she was caught. She had hoped to have a little more time to prepare him for this news "Um…" she began "I got checked out at the hospital after they took you to surgery and…"

"Oh my God," he pulled her close "What's wrong?" he was suddenly tense with fear. Had she been hurt more seriously than she had let on?

"Nothing's wrong," she quickly reassured him. She took a deep breath and prepared to just tell him "I'm three weeks pregnant."

**TBC**

**A/N: Another twist! When will the insanity end? Please review and I'll try and update again soon.**


	5. Chapter 5: To Hell And Not Back Yet

**Amnesia**

**Chapter 5: To Hell And Not Back Yet**

Elliot couldn't help the grin that crossed his face as he leaned closer to her "Three weeks," he whispered. He remembered that night clearly. It had been so wonderful and it was only fitting that their child would have been conceived that night.

Olivia nodded "Three weeks," she smiled back. She was thrilled to be carrying Elliot's baby but she wished she had known earlier. Now she seemed to be on the 'to do list' of a wacko whose name they didn't even know. Not to mention that they could now add one more count of rape to the list of charges against Jake Erickson.

"A baby," Elliot couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He knew that the situation that they were currently in was not a happy one and he was willing to hold on to any ray of sunlight that he could. He wrapped his arms around her "Liv, we're gonna have a baby."

She leaned into his embrace as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She was pregnant with Elliot's baby. She allowed herself to feel safe just for a moment. The moment didn't last though as the peace was shattered by the ringing of the phone. The two separated and stared at the phone where it lay on the end table. Neither one wanted to answer it and have to listen to that sick freak again. Slowly Olivia leaned over to look at the caller ID. She released a breath that she was very much aware that she'd been holding as she read it out loud "It's Cragen." Elliot relaxed considerably as Olivia answered the phone "Benson."

"Olivia," Cragen began "How are you feeling?" after Olivia had found out that she was pregnant she had confided everything in him. He had also taken her statement and knew what she had gone through in the park. She had refused to visit with a rape crisis councilor or even one meeting with Huang no matter how much Cragen had insisted she do so and he had become increasingly worried about her. After the phone call he had received from Elliot earlier that evening, he was even more so. He was glad that Elliot had recovered his memories but that did little to assuage his fears about these men on the loose. But he finally had some good news.

"What's up Captain?" she asked him, effectively bringing his mind back to the conversation at hand.

He took note of how she didn't answer his question. He cleared his throat before speaking feeling that it was better just to get to the point "Traffic cops picked up Erickson and another man who was with him," he coughed slightly "Can you come down for a line up?"

Olivia froze "We already know what Erickson looks like Captain," she told him "We have concrete evidence against him. Why do we need a line up?"

Elliot put a hand on her shoulder to soothe her "Shhh, calm down," he murmured more to himself than her. He didn't know what was being said on the other end of the line but he had a good idea from Olivia's side of the conversation.

"We think," Cragen began "That the guy that we picked up with him might be one of the guys who was with him in the park. Erickson won't tell us anything," Cragen paused and his tone became one of concern "If it's too soon Olivia-"

She cut him off hurriedly "No, no it's okay. We should try and get this guy off the streets as soon as possible. I'll be right down."

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked having caught the small change in the tone of her voice. He took her hands in his "Did they catch Erickson?" he asked hopefully.

Olivia nodded before collapsing into Elliot's embrace "There was another guy with him. Captain wants me to come down and see if I can pick the other guy out of a line up."

Elliot rubbed her back soothingly "Are you sure you're up to this?" he asked.

She pulled away and looked at him "I can do this," she told him in a tone that said that she was hell bent on it. She slipped back into the safe embrace of the man she loved "I hope I can," she whispered.

"I'll drive," Elliot told her as he held her close. Neither one of them wanted to be the first to leave the safety of each other's arms.

Finally Olivia stood and put on her coat "Thanks," she said simply as Elliot followed her out of the apartment.

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Olivia stood, waiting for the men to enter. Elliot stood beside her, holding her hand. The men began to file into the room and she tensed up instantly. She squeezed Elliot's hand so tight that she was afraid that she had cut off circulation but she was unable to loosen her grip.

"Do you recognize any of these men?" Casey asked her.

Olivia barely heard the question. Her eyes were locked on number three. She was positive that it was him. He was the man that had held her gun. Vaguely she was aware of Casey and the other lawyer in the room starting to bicker about objectivity in the lineup. Finally she was able to open her mouth, she fought to get control over her voice "Number three," she said in a hoarse whisper.

"Where do you recognize him from," Casey asked because she was supposed to. If it had been up to her, she would have put the lineup off until morning at least but the damn guy's damn attorney was adamant that it take place immediately.

Olivia took her time before answering. It took everything she had to stay in that spot "From the park," she answered. Casey thanked her and Olivia headed for the nearest exit with Elliot close behind.

Elliot had recognized the man too and he knew that while he had been there, he wasn't the tall one. The man who had called them and threatened them was still out there. He wrapped his arms around her as she stopped and leaned against a wall in the corridor "It'll be okay," he whispered.

Neither of them saw the two officers escorting Erickson out of the precinct in handcuffs on his way to central booking but he most definitely saw them. In an instant he had wrestled his way free from the two men that held him and, with his hands still restrained behind his back, ran up to the two detectives "Long time no see," he smiled at Olivia. Elliot stepped between Erickson and Olivia as the two officers grabbed Erickson again and pulled him away. Elliot fixed Erickson with a death glare but that did nothing to silence him "Best lay I've had in a long time," he called out as they disappeared down the hall "We'll have to do it again, sometime when your little boyfriend isn't around."

Elliot fought the urge to run after him and kick the crap out of him. He turned to Olivia and saw her shaking as she fought tears. He gathered her into a tight embrace "It's all right," he told her. Slowly they walked to the doors of the precinct.

"I just wanna go home now," she whispered back. Seeing Erickson again had been too much for her. She didn't even want to think about when she would have to face him in court even though she knew that that day would come.

Cragen ran into them just before they reached the exit. He had heard from the two officers about what had happened with Erickson and it just made him feel all the more guilty for having to call Olivia down to do the lineup at all "Olivia," he began but he got no response. She was numb after what had just happened; her mind was trying to separate flashbacks from reality and it was everything she could do not to lose it right then and there.

Elliot shoved his captain out of the way "Save it Don," he hissed angrily "If you need to put her through anymore hell, you know where to find us," somewhere in his mind he knew that the lineup had been necessary and that the thing with Erickson had been no one's fault but it did nothing to keep him from being angry. He hated those men for what they had done to her. He had never seen her so afraid of anything in all the years that he'd known her and he hated that they could do that to her. He missed his strong, courageous partner and if it took him the rest of his life, he was going to do everything to help her to feel safe and be that strong woman once again.

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Elliot unlocked the door of her apartment building for her "After you," he said gently as he guided her through with a hand on the small of her back. She hadn't spoken a word since she had said that she wanted to go home. It seemed as if she had retreated into her own mind as some form of self preservation. He walked close beside her as they approached her apartment. He looked at his watch, it was already 6:00am and they would both have to be at work in two hours "Maybe you should take the day off," he suggested.

She shook her head as she pulled her key out to unlock her door. She spotted something on the floor outside the door and bent to pick it up. She unfolded the piece of paper and read it. She let it flutter to the ground instantly "He…" was all she managed. Suddenly she couldn't stand under her own power.

Elliot quickly opened the door for her and brought her inside. He lowered her to the couch, picking up a nearby blanket and wrapping it around her shoulders. She appeared as if she were going into shock of some kind "Liv, honey," he pleaded, taking a seat beside her "What's wrong?"

"He was in the building," she managed to whisper.

Elliot jumped to his feet and made sure to close and deadbolt the door to the apartment. He returned to the couch and pulled Olivia close to him "It's okay," he soothed as he rubbed her back.

Olivia ran a hand subconsciously over her abdomen. She hadn't begun to show but she knew that the baby was in there. Not even the size of a grain of rice, her baby… their baby was already in so much danger. She felt so guilty at that moment that her baby had been cursed to have her as a mother. She buried her face in Elliot's chest and began to sob silently.

Elliot simply held her because it was the only thing that he could do at that moment. When her sobs had subsided and she appeared to have fallen asleep, he reached for his cell phone and called Cragen to inform him of this latest development.

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Half an hour later and two uniformed officers stood outside Olivia's apartment, keeping a look out for the third man. The note that had gotten Olivia so rattled was on its way to the crime lab. Elliot remained with Olivia on the couch. She had managed to sleep soundly for the last thirty minutes without any visible clues that she was having a nightmare. Finally she opened her eyes and looked at Elliot.

"Hey," she said sleepily.

"Hey," he smiled at her, happy to hear her voice again.

She gripped his hands "He was in the building," she whispered fearfully.

"I know," Elliot told her "He won't get in again."

"How do you know?" Olivia asked, slowly becoming more anxious.

"Eastwood and Mueller are outside," he told her.

"We have a protective detail," she groaned. Normally she would put up more of a fight but she was more than ready to accept the detail this time. She had never been pregnant before and she wasn't going to take any unnecessary risks. She still had her pride though and put up a reluctant front.

"Liv," he framed her face "The detail is a necessary evil," he chuckled slightly. Olivia nodded and simply pulled Elliot closer to her.

Elliot pulled away a few minutes later "Are you hungry?" he asked. He wasn't really and he didn't expect that she would be either given the circumstances they found themselves in but she had to think of the baby.

"Not really," she mumbled a response "But I should probably eat something."

"Pancakes," Elliot suggested, standing up and moving into her kitchen.

"Sounds great," Olivia answered. She pulled her knees up to her chest as she sat alone on the couch. She watched Elliot move around in her kitchen, preparing breakfast. She smiled to herself thinking how wonderful it would be to spend the rest of her life with him.

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"Thanks," Olivia smiled as Elliot handed her a plate of pancakes and the syrup. She tried to get the syrup to pour from the bottle but it had been a long time since she had last used maple syrup for anything and the cap of the bottle was stuck down hard.

"Want some help?" Elliot asked with a sly smile.

"No, I got it," and just as she said that, Olivia finally pried the cap from the bottle and received a maple shower as her reward "Yuck," she muttered. Maple syrup tasted delicious but it was absolutely disgusting to spill on one's self. She stood up from the table "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Finish your pancakes first," Elliot nearly begged through a pathetic smile "I made them for you," he pouted.

Somehow she found him just too cute at that moment to say no to "You know," she smiled as she brought a fork full of pancake to her mouth "You're so pathetic sometimes."

Elliot only pouted more in response "And I thought you loved me," he wined, finding it hard not to burst into laughter.

"Maybe I think pathetic is incredibly attractive," Olivia suggested, smiling at how Elliot tried to put on his most pathetic puppy dog look in response.

"You like pathetic huh?" he asked, finding it impossible not to grin by this point.

"Maybe," Olivia chuckled.

"Good," Elliot scooted the chair he was sitting in closer to Olivia's side of the table "Because there's plenty more where that came from," he jutted out his lower lip and managed to look entirely dejected.

Olivia nearly choked on her breakfast "That's very nice for you," she informed him as she coughed and reached for her glass of orange juice.

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Olivia stepped out of the shower into the steam filled bathroom. She toweled off in front of the still foggy mirror and pulled on a fresh change of clothes. Her hand came to rest on her still flat stomach "You probably can't even hear me yet little one," she whispered "But I'm really sorry about all this stress that I'm putting on you."

She heard a knock on the bathroom door "You ready Liv?" Elliot asked. He would never understand why women took so long in the bathroom. Of course sharing a bathroom with just Olivia was a lot easier than sharing a bathroom with his teenage, appearance obsessed daughters.

"Yeah," Olivia called back just before she opened the door.

"Hi," Elliot smiled at her. She never ceased to amaze him, the way that she always looked so put together. Maybe it had something to do with the extra time in the bathroom he thought.

Olivia took a deep breath "When do we have to be at Erickson's arraignment?" she asked.

"It's at three this afternoon," Elliot answered. He was hoping that he could get her in to see Huang before then. He had been thinking that maybe he should sit down with the psychiatrist himself. This whole thing was just too big and no matter how much he wanted to, he knew that he couldn't help Olivia on his own. "You ready?" he asked her just before she opened the apartment door to head outside.

"Yeah," she answered, even though it was far from the truth.

As they drove to the station they were both well aware of Eastman and Mueller following them three cars behind. What they weren't aware of was the man who watched their car until it had turned the corner at the end of Olivia's street.

**TBC**


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